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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Albert Pujols Embarrasses Cardinals By Returning To Dugout With First Base Stuck On Bottom Of Shoe

ST. LOUIS—Cardinals players were reportedly mortified Monday when Albert Pujols embarrassed the entire team in front of 34,965 fans by trotting back to the dugout with first base stuck on the bottom of his left shoe. "Oh my god, he's such a spaz," said left fielder Matt Holiday, lowering the bill of his baseball cap and pulling up the hood of his sweatshirt. "Please don't let anyone in the crowd think that we are with him. Oh Jesus, he's trying to scrape it off and now it's stuck on his other shoe. I swear, if he sits next to me, I'll never be able to show my face around here again." According to third baseman David Freese, Pujols consistently humiliates everyone in the dugout when he "claps like a total dork" any time the team does well.

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