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Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...
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Albert Pujols Sliding Into Everything After Learning To Slide

ST. LOUIS—Sources in the Cardinals organization confirmed Tuesday that, after completing private sliding lessons, Albert Pujols has been sliding feetfirst into equipment, open doorways, dirty laundry, teammates, dugouts, and anything else the three-time NL MVP can possibly slide into. "His technique is nearly perfect, but I can't even warm up without him barreling across the field and sliding into the pitcher's mound," said Cardinals starter Brad Penny, adding that a suds-covered Pujols also slid into him several times last week during a postgame shower. "I'm worried he'll wear himself out by sliding into the on-deck circle over and over again. And there's no reason he should be sliding into the St. Louis Arch." When asked to comment, Pujols slid into a group of reporters.

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