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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Alex Rodriguez Pulls Out Of World Baseball Classic Because Everyone Else Is Doing It

NEW YORK—Citing concern that his fellow major-leaguers would consider him an outcast and overachiever, Alex Rodriguez announced Wednesday that he will not take part in the increasingly unpopular World Baseball Classic. "The Classic seemed like it would be a great opportunity to represent my country and give baseball unprecedented worldwide exposure; that is, back when everyone else said they were going to be in it, too," said Rodriguez, who watched as stars like Barry Bonds, Nomar Garciaparra, and John Smoltz withdrew from the tournament in recent weeks. "When most of the other guys tentatively said they would participate, I thought that playing was a good decision, but after seeing my heroes like the great Mariano Rivera bow out, I am now sure that this is the right, and popular, thing to do." Rodriguez added that, even though the World Baseball Classic "is for losers," he wouldn't rule out playing in the tournament if enough of his friends decide to reconsider their withdrawal.

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