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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Algerian Dies Of Natural Causes

TABELBALA, ALGERIA—Beni Ain-Sefra, 71, became the first Algerian in nearly seven months to die of natural causes following a stroke Saturday, sending shockwaves through the North African nation. According to reports, Ain-Sefra was not shot, hanged, stabbed nor disemboweled by roving hordes of horse-mounted Islamic extremists. “I am stunned by this non-violent end to Beni’s life,” Ain-Sefra’s wife Sumora said. “I always imagined that when it was my husband’s turn to go to Heaven, he would be cut in half by militants and have his upper body fed to a pack of wild dogs and his legs dumped in a well. This natural, peaceful act of God will take time to sink in.”

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