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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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All 32 NFL Teams Announce They Are Underdogs Headed Into 2010 Season

NEW YORK—Just days before the start of the season, representatives from every NFL franchise have come forward to state that they are not going to let doubters hold them back, and that they are using "all the hate" as fuel for the 2010 campaign. "All those people out there betting against us are just more motivation to shock the world," said running back Reggie Bush of the defending Super Bowl champion and preseason Super Bowl-favorite Saints, echoing the sentiments of the Super Bowl runner-up Indianapolis Colts, the NFC runner-up Minnesota Vikings, and every other player and coach around the league. "No one's giving us a chance, but we prefer it this way. We're fine flying under the radar all season." Every NFL team later went on to guarantee it would make the playoffs, with the exception of the St. Louis Rams, who said their underdog status made complete sense because they are a "horrendous, just absolutely horrendous, football team."

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