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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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All 32 NFL Teams Eagerly Lining Up For Chance To Sign Randy Moss, Reports Randy Moss

SAN FRANCISCO—With NFL free agency looming, every team across the league is gearing up to compete for coveted star wide receiver Randy Moss, wide receiver Randy Moss reported Saturday. “After leading the 49ers to the Super Bowl with yet another stellar season, Randy Moss is going to be the hottest free agent pickup of 2013,” said Moss, adding that the San Francisco front office will do their utmost to re-sign the 35-year-old wideout, but will face incredibly stiff competition from the other 31 NFL franchises. “Teams are already clearing cap space and making room on their roster just in case they have a shot at landing Moss. He’s far and away the best receiver in the league, so frankly even the slightest prospect of signing him is enough to have every GM excited.”

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