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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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All Hail The Toad!

Hey OSNation!

The Toad is BACK in 2011 and he's slinging predictions like he's running out of fish heads! Go ahead and double check his picks at your own peril; the Toad senses doubt and he will absolutely spew ink all over anyone that doesn't respect his powers!

Just in case you forgot, here's the Toad's recent resume:

  • Knew John Fox would finish his Panthers career 2-14 and later helm the Broncos
  • To date, is dead on predicting when and how Terrell Owens' cries for help would take place
  • Has forecast every single major world tragedy for the past 14 years
  • Has nailed the breed of all the Westminster Dog Show winner, even the beagle
  • Never sleeps, instead muttering the day-to-day signings and transactions of the Houston Astros
  • Ate the octopus that predicted the World Cup winners
  • Predicted Josh McDaniels' firing seven years ago (in the same sentence, predicted McDaniels would be 'consumed by fire slime' so look for that!)

Got a question for the Toad? Post a comment on the Onion SportsDome Facebook wall.

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