All Hail The Toad!

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Vol 47 Issue 03

"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their los...

In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather. Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the netwo...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Advertising

  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

All Hail The Toad!

Hey OSNation!

The Toad is BACK in 2011 and he's slinging predictions like he's running out of fish heads! Go ahead and double check his picks at your own peril; the Toad senses doubt and he will absolutely spew ink all over anyone that doesn't respect his powers!

Just in case you forgot, here's the Toad's recent resume:

  • Knew John Fox would finish his Panthers career 2-14 and later helm the Broncos
  • To date, is dead on predicting when and how Terrell Owens' cries for help would take place
  • Has forecast every single major world tragedy for the past 14 years
  • Has nailed the breed of all the Westminster Dog Show winner, even the beagle
  • Never sleeps, instead muttering the day-to-day signings and transactions of the Houston Astros
  • Ate the octopus that predicted the World Cup winners
  • Predicted Josh McDaniels' firing seven years ago (in the same sentence, predicted McDaniels would be 'consumed by fire slime' so look for that!)

Got a question for the Toad? Post a comment on the Onion SportsDome Facebook wall.

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