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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Archivists Unearth Rare Early Career Paul Newman Salsa

WESTPORT, CT—Shedding light on the formative years of the late actor and philanthropist, researchers cataloging the personal archives of Paul Newman confirmed Friday they had uncovered a long-forgotten salsa from early in his career.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:
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All-Knowing Invisible Hand Of Free Market Once Again Guides Millions In Profits To Nation’s Bead Stores

PRINCETON, NJ—Citing the teachings of classical laissez-faire economics, leading economists explained Tuesday that the all-knowing invisible hand of free-market capitalism had yet again guided millions of dollars in profits to bead stores across the nation. “When left to govern themselves, the forces of supply and demand will always allocate money and resources most efficiently between market actors, in this case, by redistributing tens of millions of dollars of individuals’ earnings to purveyors of loose glass, crystal, pewter, and acrylic beads each year,” said Princeton University economist Markus Brunnermeier, confirming that the principles of competitive markets put forth by pioneering 18th-century thinker Adam Smith ensured that stores with names such as Beadniks, String-A-Strand, and Fun 2 Bead would continue to thrive commercially. “Given that producers and consumers have freedom of choice to buy and sell wares as they please, our current market, in which stores make thousands upon thousands of dollars a day by selling beads, wires on which to string beads, and offering evening classes in custom beaded bracelet making, is, by definition, the optimal outcome for society as a whole.” Brunnermeier also added that the principles of the division of labor put forth by Adam Smith in his seminal treatise The Wealth Of Nations ensured that workers at bead stores all display extremely heightened levels of skill and productivity at their positions.

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Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

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