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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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All-Knowing Invisible Hand Of Free Market Once Again Guides Millions In Profits To Nation’s Bead Stores

PRINCETON, NJ—Citing the teachings of classical laissez-faire economics, leading economists explained Tuesday that the all-knowing invisible hand of free-market capitalism had yet again guided millions of dollars in profits to bead stores across the nation. “When left to govern themselves, the forces of supply and demand will always allocate money and resources most efficiently between market actors, in this case, by redistributing tens of millions of dollars of individuals’ earnings to purveyors of loose glass, crystal, pewter, and acrylic beads each year,” said Princeton University economist Markus Brunnermeier, confirming that the principles of competitive markets put forth by pioneering 18th-century thinker Adam Smith ensured that stores with names such as Beadniks, String-A-Strand, and Fun 2 Bead would continue to thrive commercially. “Given that producers and consumers have freedom of choice to buy and sell wares as they please, our current market, in which stores make thousands upon thousands of dollars a day by selling beads, wires on which to string beads, and offering evening classes in custom beaded bracelet making, is, by definition, the optimal outcome for society as a whole.” Brunnermeier also added that the principles of the division of labor put forth by Adam Smith in his seminal treatise The Wealth Of Nations ensured that workers at bead stores all display extremely heightened levels of skill and productivity at their positions.

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