adBlockCheck

All Rise For The OSN Anthem: "For The Love Of Sport Eternal"

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

All Rise For The OSN Anthem: "For The Love Of Sport Eternal"

All the great countries in the world have anthems. Since the Onion Sports Network is greater than all the countries in the world, it is only fitting that we should have our own anthem more glorious and majestic than any other anthem out there.

We are pleased to present to you now the lyrics and audio to For The Love Of Sport Eternal, the new OSN anthem that will be giving you chills and making you cry for the foreseeable future. Feel free to write additional stanzas and submit them to OSN: much like the love of sport, we would like, one day, for this anthem to also be eternal.

Listen to an exclusive passage here

Remember, this is a finely honed, carefully crafted anthem. All nine stanzas must be sung in any one rendition, or all honor and pride the singer is hoping to invoke will be lost and replaced with shame:

For the balls are in the air
And the crowd is in their seats
OSN we celebrate
Your most daring of feats!

We pluck balls from the air,
Throw the long pass downfield,
OSN to your mighty
Sports cov'rage we yield!

Well the roundballs will bounce
And the sneakers will squeak
OSN will stand strong
And bring sports to the weak!

The fans start to cheer
And they get to their feat
For OSN, it is here --
And the cheers, they repeat!

The arenas are filled
With sports' fortunate few
OSN brings the rest
A superior view!

The arenas are filled
And the fans start to cheer
As OSN takes the court
And defeats all our fear!

OSN in the ring
OSN on the court
If the O isn't there,
Then it isn't a sport!

Score the points for your team
And the triumph is yours
OSN brings you fame
It will open the doors!

Where our heroes are born
And the villains are slain
OSN, you can make
Purest beauty from pain!

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close