adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

All-Time Rays Great Evan Longoria Throws Out First Pitch Of World Series

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Evan Longoria, the Tampa Bay legend who is widely acknowledged as the Rays' all-time greatest player, was celebrated by the franchise Wednesday when the rookie was given the honor of throwing out the ceremonial first pitch of the World Series. "I couldn't think of anyone more deserving than Evan, who is easily the most outstanding player in this team's storied 10-year history," Manager Joe Maddon said of Longoria, who played all six months of his career with the club. "Younger baseball fans might not realize it, but some day, say a year from now, they'll look back and remember when they saw the Rays honor the best to ever play a regular season with the team." After throwing out the first pitch, Longoria waved to the cheering crowd and jogged to his position at third base.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close