Altruism Mocked

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Vol 42 Issue 10

Slobodan Milosevic Dead

Former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic died in prison before a verdict in his four-year trial for genocide and war crimes could be rendered. What...

Meth Puts Strain On ERs

A recent survey of hospitals indicated that methamphetamine is responsible for more drug-related emergency-room admissions than any other illicit...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Altruism Mocked

EUGENE, OR—Resident Mark Eisenfeld was taken to task by fellow citizens Tuesday for helping a lost and apparently senile elderly man find his way home. "Ooh, look at me, I'm gonna drop everything I'm doing to personally aid some old man I've never seen before," said freelance writer Eric Bergstrom, who was eating at a local diner when he saw Eisenfeld buy the confused man a cup of coffee and ask him where he lived. "Because, you know, it's not like there's cops or emergency workers trained to do that stuff. Must be nice having all that free time to be a big hero. What a stuck-up prick." As of press time, Eisenfeld's ulterior motive had not been determined.
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