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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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AMA: Plastic Surgery 'Only A Few Years Away' From Making Someone Look Better

NEW YORK—American Medical Association spokeswoman Dr. Marlene German told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that, after nearly a half-century of advancements in the field, doctors are now only "a few years away" from being able to make patients look better, rather than worse, following plastic surgery.

"Soon, a person will leave the hospital with an appearance that is younger, healthier, and more attractive, instead of looking like some horrific, pinch-faced thing from another world," German said. "We thank the hundreds of thousands of plastic surgery patients who have helped us get to this point. Without trial and error, and the inevitable freakish failures that result, there could be no progress."

Following the announcement, women nationwide made appointments for second and third plastic surgery procedures, hoping that the new techniques might eventually help them look halfway normal again.

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