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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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AMA: Plastic Surgery 'Only A Few Years Away' From Making Someone Look Better

NEW YORK—American Medical Association spokeswoman Dr. Marlene German told reporters at a press conference Tuesday that, after nearly a half-century of advancements in the field, doctors are now only "a few years away" from being able to make patients look better, rather than worse, following plastic surgery.

"Soon, a person will leave the hospital with an appearance that is younger, healthier, and more attractive, instead of looking like some horrific, pinch-faced thing from another world," German said. "We thank the hundreds of thousands of plastic surgery patients who have helped us get to this point. Without trial and error, and the inevitable freakish failures that result, there could be no progress."

Following the announcement, women nationwide made appointments for second and third plastic surgery procedures, hoping that the new techniques might eventually help them look halfway normal again.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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