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Amateur-Photography Tips

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Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Weddings vs. Eloping

Many couples who don’t want to put the time and money toward a wedding simply run off and get married in secret. Here is a side-by-side comparison of planning a wedding and eloping

EPA Urges Flint Residents To Stop Dumping Tap Water Down Drain

FLINT, MI—Citing the significant health and safety risks that it poses to public infrastructure and the local ecosystem, the Environmental Protection Agency released a statement Thursday urging residents of Flint to discontinue dumping tap water down their drains.

New OSHA Regulations To Cut Down On Workplace Mutations

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to address the troubling number of genetic transformations occurring in workplaces across the nation, the United States Occupational Safety and Health Administration unveiled new regulations this week aimed at reducing on-the-job mutations, sources confirmed.

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Upcoming Changes To U.S. Currency

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Amateur-Photography Tips

Photography can be a fun and rewarding hobby. Here are some helpful hints to get aspiring shutterbugs started:

Girl with camera.


  • If you're unsure how your pictures are coming along, don't be afraid to open the camera and hold the film up to the sun for a sneak peek.
  • Some photographers use a tripod for stability, but for maximum steadiness, use a dodecapod.
  • Variety is key! For a change of pace, try folding back the labial lips.
  • If surrounded by a group of thugs who want to steal your camera, simply fawn over them and insist that you can make them stars.
  • Shutter speed is crucial in photography somehow.
  • Don't take your film to Walgreens for development. Those guys are, like, Nazis.
  • Rather than gawking at attractive women who pass you on the street, take a picture. It will last longer.
  • Make sure the subjects of your photos are always smiling. No one likes a frowny-face.
  • Amaze your friends with the remarkable Mini Secret Spy Camera! Fits in pocket. Undetectable. Weighs 2 1/2 oz. Precision ground lens. Film included. Super! . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.25
  • Vinnie DiResta of Brooklyn, NY, has got something you can take a picture of right here.
  • Dogs wearing funny hats always make for a powerful artistic statement.
  • European photo magazines are an excellent way to see naked women without feeling like a dirty lech.
  • Kodachrome film will give you the nice bright colors, give you the greens of summer, make you think all the world's a sunny day. Oh, yeah.
  • Avoid photographing Native Americans, because they believe taking a picture steals a part of a person's soul. Instead, take pictures of Germans. They eat that shit up.
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