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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Amateur-Photography Tips

Photography can be a fun and rewarding hobby. Here are some helpful hints to get aspiring shutterbugs started:

Girl with camera.


  • If you're unsure how your pictures are coming along, don't be afraid to open the camera and hold the film up to the sun for a sneak peek.
  • Some photographers use a tripod for stability, but for maximum steadiness, use a dodecapod.
  • Variety is key! For a change of pace, try folding back the labial lips.
  • If surrounded by a group of thugs who want to steal your camera, simply fawn over them and insist that you can make them stars.
  • Shutter speed is crucial in photography somehow.
  • Don't take your film to Walgreens for development. Those guys are, like, Nazis.
  • Rather than gawking at attractive women who pass you on the street, take a picture. It will last longer.
  • Make sure the subjects of your photos are always smiling. No one likes a frowny-face.
  • Amaze your friends with the remarkable Mini Secret Spy Camera! Fits in pocket. Undetectable. Weighs 2 1/2 oz. Precision ground lens. Film included. Super! . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.25
  • Vinnie DiResta of Brooklyn, NY, has got something you can take a picture of right here.
  • Dogs wearing funny hats always make for a powerful artistic statement.
  • European photo magazines are an excellent way to see naked women without feeling like a dirty lech.
  • Kodachrome film will give you the nice bright colors, give you the greens of summer, make you think all the world's a sunny day. Oh, yeah.
  • Avoid photographing Native Americans, because they believe taking a picture steals a part of a person's soul. Instead, take pictures of Germans. They eat that shit up.
  • More from this section

    ‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

    When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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