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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Amazing Affleck Brothers Dazzle Oscars Audience With High-Flying Trapeze Routine

LOS ANGELES—In a thrilling display of death-defying acrobatics, the Amazing Affleck Brothers dazzled the Oscars audience Sunday night with a breathtaking high-flying trapeze routine. “Ladies and gentlemen, my brother Casey and I will be performing for you this evening with no safety net—only our aerial skills stand between us and certain death,” said a leotard-clad Ben Affleck, who caused the audience to collectively gasp as he leapt from a platform 50 feet above the Dolby Theatre stage, executed a triple somersault, and was caught upside-down in midair by the younger member of the flying duo. “And now our next acrobatic feat—you might have to make our Oscars posthumous after this one! Drumroll, please!” At press time, the Amazing Affleck Brothers were paying tribute to their late sibling Dylan, who died at last year’s Oscars ceremony during a human pyramid mishap.

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