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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once

Jim and Tracy meet the incredible ballet prodigy who choreographed an entire desperate plea for her father's attention all on her own.

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