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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Americans Once Again Inspired As Kerri Strug Limps To Liquor Store

TUCSON, AZ—Kerri Strug, the former gymnast who memorably hobbled her way to Olympic gold in 1996, once again reportedly inspired the nation Sunday as she resiliently limped to the Four Star Liquor store, fighting back tears as she purchased $17.37 worth of alcohol, cigarettes, and scratch-off lottery tickets. “Soft pack of Pall Mall 100’s,” said Strug, who appeared to be in obvious pain and favoring her left leg as she overcame the odds and made it to the counter. “U.S. Olympian discount?” At press time, a crying Strug was triumphantly clutching her Goldschläger while being carried the final few blocks back to her apartment by a disheveled and intoxicated Béla Károlyi.

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