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America's Best Zoo Exhibits

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Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.
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America's Best Zoo Exhibits

A trip to the zoo is fun and education for the entire family. Here's a list of the top-rated animal exhibits around the country:

America's Best Zoo Exhibits

  • Snakes: Somewhere In This Room!
    Zoo Atlanta, Atlanta, GA
  • The Fascinating World Of Dead Capybaras
    Bronx Zoo, Bronx, NY
  • Why Sloths And Chimps Can't Have Babies
    Chehaw Wild Animal Park,
    Albany, GA
  • Anacondo
    San Francisco Zoo,
    San Francisco, CA
  • You Deal With This Sick Rhino
    Fort Worth Zoo, Fort Worth, TX
  • Kanga-Roofied
    Sea World/Busch Gardens, Orlando, FL
  • Inside The Digestive Tract Of The Mighty Boa Constrictor
    Toledo Zoo, Toledo, OH
  • Nature's Videos We Rented
    Birmingham Zoo, Birmingham, AL
  • Feed Twizzlers To The African Waterbuck
    San Antonio Zoo, San Antonio, TX
  • Watch The Zookeeper-Mauling Polar Bear Get Euthanized
    Memphis Zoo, Memphis, TN
  • Polaroids Of Koalas
    Mesker Park Zoo, Evansville, IN
  • Peacocks And Turkeys: Nature's Unlikely Best Buddies
    Fort Wayne Children's Zoo,
    Fort Wayne, IN
  • Suddenly There's Bears!
    Wildlife Parking Lot
    Gladys Porter Zoo, Brownsville, TX
  • Mr. Hippo Loves Mrs. Hippo Very Much
    Franklin Park Zoo, Boston, MA
  • Hamm's Bear Cardboard Stand-Ups Behind Bars
    Lincoln Park Zoological Gardens, Chicago, IL

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