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Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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America's Best Zoo Exhibits

A trip to the zoo is fun and education for the entire family. Here's a list of the top-rated animal exhibits around the country:

America's Best Zoo Exhibits

  • Snakes: Somewhere In This Room!
    Zoo Atlanta, Atlanta, GA
  • The Fascinating World Of Dead Capybaras
    Bronx Zoo, Bronx, NY
  • Why Sloths And Chimps Can't Have Babies
    Chehaw Wild Animal Park,
    Albany, GA
  • Anacondo
    San Francisco Zoo,
    San Francisco, CA
  • You Deal With This Sick Rhino
    Fort Worth Zoo, Fort Worth, TX
  • Kanga-Roofied
    Sea World/Busch Gardens, Orlando, FL
  • Inside The Digestive Tract Of The Mighty Boa Constrictor
    Toledo Zoo, Toledo, OH
  • Nature's Videos We Rented
    Birmingham Zoo, Birmingham, AL
  • Feed Twizzlers To The African Waterbuck
    San Antonio Zoo, San Antonio, TX
  • Watch The Zookeeper-Mauling Polar Bear Get Euthanized
    Memphis Zoo, Memphis, TN
  • Polaroids Of Koalas
    Mesker Park Zoo, Evansville, IN
  • Peacocks And Turkeys: Nature's Unlikely Best Buddies
    Fort Wayne Children's Zoo,
    Fort Wayne, IN
  • Suddenly There's Bears!
    Wildlife Parking Lot
    Gladys Porter Zoo, Brownsville, TX
  • Mr. Hippo Loves Mrs. Hippo Very Much
    Franklin Park Zoo, Boston, MA
  • Hamm's Bear Cardboard Stand-Ups Behind Bars
    Lincoln Park Zoological Gardens, Chicago, IL

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