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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Amnesty International Blasts Conditions Of NHL Penalty Boxes

LONDON—Exposing widespread cases of rampant neglect and overly harsh treatment, human rights organization Amnesty International released a damning report Friday decrying the cruel and inhumane conditions of NHL penalty boxes. “Confining players against their will in these filthy and incredibly cramped enclosures is absolutely unacceptable in today’s modern game,” read an excerpt from the report, which also demanded accountability from the NHL after penalized players as young as 18 were found to be subjected to relentless abuse by opposing fans in arenas across the league. “The floors are often covered with the spit and refuse of previous offenders, with two players sometimes forced to share the same putrid, unhygienic penalty box. This brutal punishment is handed out for even the smallest of infractions—in some cases a five-minute sentence for a bullshit cross-checking call—and the NHL has simply turned a blind eye to this incredibly serious issue.” The report went on to heavily criticize the league’s barbaric policy of forcing a penalized player to watch as his teammates are reduced to playing short-handed.

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