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Overeager Simpleton Destroys That Which He Loves Most

WICHITA, KS—Agonizingly unaware of his own strength and the devastation it might inflict on the innocent, overeager simpleton Rob McCormick tore apart a bag of potato chips Thursday, despite the fact that it was reportedly what he loved most in all the world.

Raccoon Family Tired Of Taking Care Of Rabid Father

MONTGOMERY, WV—Acknowledging that he has become a real burden on their foraging and nesting activities, a local raccoon family told reporters Tuesday that they are starting to get tired of taking care of their rabid father.
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An Entomologist's Dream!

Cozy bungalow perfect for the professional or amateur insect enthusiast. While away the hours studying a decades-old interior roach colony and the complex series of anthills dotting the quaint, private yard, or be the first to identify this property’s numerous other resident species, including nests of fat spiders with yellow stripes and something with at least fifty legs. Reference number 348R3

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