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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Analysts Predicting Most Evenly Matched Blowout In Super Bowl History

DETROIT—Citing the Steelers' overwhelming defense and remarkable team resilience, as well as the overpowering Seahawks ground game and odds-defying tenacity, football analysts around the nation say Super Bowl XL is shaping up to be one of the most evenly matched blowouts in the history of the NFL Championship Game. "Ignore the hype about overdogs and underdogs—these are two very good teams, and we won't know which team will absolutely crush the other until halfway through the first quarter," said Sports Illustrated's Peter King. "Sunday's Super Bowl might be the most well-balanced one-sided game since the great Montana-Elway matchups." The betting lines as of press time still had Pittsburgh as a two-point favorite, though with an over/under of 34.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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