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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Analysts Predicting Most Evenly Matched Blowout In Super Bowl History

DETROIT—Citing the Steelers' overwhelming defense and remarkable team resilience, as well as the overpowering Seahawks ground game and odds-defying tenacity, football analysts around the nation say Super Bowl XL is shaping up to be one of the most evenly matched blowouts in the history of the NFL Championship Game. "Ignore the hype about overdogs and underdogs—these are two very good teams, and we won't know which team will absolutely crush the other until halfway through the first quarter," said Sports Illustrated's Peter King. "Sunday's Super Bowl might be the most well-balanced one-sided game since the great Montana-Elway matchups." The betting lines as of press time still had Pittsburgh as a two-point favorite, though with an over/under of 34.

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