'And Now For A Thrilling Tennis Season,' Nobody In Nation Says

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Vol 47 Issue 06

FactZone's Five Most Popular Stories

On this, the week of FactZone's fifth birthday, we look back on some of our most popular stories to date: 5. Baby Goat Befriends Roomba: This cute story from 2007 about an Iowa family's pet goat who took to following around a Roomba robotic vacuum...

FactZone's Five Most Touching Moments

On FactZone's fifth anniversary, we look back at a few of the shows most touching moments: 5. Miracle On The Hudson: While reporting on the incredible landing of a U.S. Airways passenger plane on the Hudson river in January 2009, r...

Portrait Of A Hero

Yesterday America was introduced to Trevor Wilson, the brave young man from Granton, Kansas who heroically gunned down a potential school shooter before the shooter could even obtain a gun.

Aaron Rodgers To Spend Offseason Being Compared To Things

GREEN BAY, WI—NFL experts said Friday that Aaron Rodgers, who since winning the Super Bowl has been likened to his predecessor Brett Favre and 49ers great Steve Young, will spend the rest of the offseason being compared to everything from other foot...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Entertainment

'And Now For A Thrilling Tennis Season,' Nobody In Nation Says

NOWHERE—With Super Bowl XLV concluding the 2010 football season and with several months to go before the 2011 baseball season, absolutely nobody in the country confirmed Sunday that they were looking forward to watching tennis. "I've already requested my days off for the U.S. Open," said not one single person in the entire United States of America. "Seems like this might be the year [Novak] Djokovic finally climbs out of [Rafael] Nadal and [Roger] Federer's shadows," added an American who does not and never will exist. Although even the faintest thought of the 2011 tennis season occurred to no one whatsoever, 95 percent of the country has reportedly been wondering what Michael Chang is up to.

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