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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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'And Now For A Thrilling Tennis Season,' Nobody In Nation Says

NOWHERE—With Super Bowl XLV concluding the 2010 football season and with several months to go before the 2011 baseball season, absolutely nobody in the country confirmed Sunday that they were looking forward to watching tennis. "I've already requested my days off for the U.S. Open," said not one single person in the entire United States of America. "Seems like this might be the year [Novak] Djokovic finally climbs out of [Rafael] Nadal and [Roger] Federer's shadows," added an American who does not and never will exist. Although even the faintest thought of the 2011 tennis season occurred to no one whatsoever, 95 percent of the country has reportedly been wondering what Michael Chang is up to.

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