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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Andrea Kremer Proves Journalistic Prowess By Asking Olympian How That Felt

LONDON—NBC Olympic reporter and 30-year veteran of the journalistic craft Andrea Kremer exhibited her unequaled interviewing talents last week by asking a gold-medal-winning swimmer how it felt to win her race. "A gold medal, how does it feel?" asked Kremer, proving her adept ability to dig beneath the surface and down to the true heart of a story in a manner that's earned her two Emmys during her career. "It's got to feel pretty good, right?" Kremer also displayed her exemplary tact and skill a week earlier when the intrepid sports reporter conducted a postrace interview with the U.S. men's 400-meter freestyle relay team, causing journalists far and wide to question their own abilities when she asked Ryan Lochte, who was passed in the final lap, "What happened?"

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