Andrew Luck Cut From Colts After Overthrowing Wide-Open Receiver

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Vol 48 Issue 32

Occasional Butts

AMC 10:00 p.m. EDT/9:00 p.m. CDT Amanda walks out of the bathroom to put on a robe. Jared and David talk in the locker room after racquetball.

Fuck, Roommates Want To Have Meeting

BROOKLYN, NY—Sitting in the living room of his apartment Wednesday, a visibly anxious Drew Johnson told reporters that, fuck, his roommates want to have a meeting as soon as everyone can find a moment. According to the 24-year-old production assista...

Thursday, August 16

Authorities will be coming by homes to collect all children born the week of June 11-17 as foretold in the prophecy.

Just Give Us Five Episodes

CBS 10:00 p.m. EDT/9:00 p.m. CDT Detective Seth Murray and his hard-nosed colleagues take some getting used to, we know, but just stick with them and you’ll probably come around.

Colorado Shooter Being Evicted

Eviction proceedings were formally brought against accused Aurora, CO gunman James Holmes on Wednesday, with his landlord citing the tenant’s murder of 12 theatergoers, damage to the premises, and rigging of multiple explosive devices in the apartme...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Andrew Luck Cut From Colts After Overthrowing Wide-Open Receiver

ANDERSON, IN—Less than a week into training camp, the Indianapolis Colts announced they had cut quarterback Andrew Luck from the roster because the rookie reportedly overthrew wide receiver Reggie Wayne by more than 2 feet during practice. "We appreciate everything Andrew has done for our organization, but we strongly believe that today's performance proves we need to move on," owner Jim Irsay said Friday, throwing his full support behind Drew Stanton as the future of the Colts. "Some may question our decision to sever ties with the No. 1 pick, but I can guarantee that anybody who saw how wide-open Reggie was would agree. I mean, that pass wasn't even close." Teams in desperate need of a quarterback now have a choice between claiming Luck or former Redskins passer Robert Griffith III, who was released Thursday after his shoe came untied.

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