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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Andy Murray Claims It's Kind Of Pathetic Britain Taking So Much Pride In His Win At A Tennis Tournament

LONDON—After becoming the first British player to win the Wimbledon men’s singles championship since 1936, Andy Murray announced Tuesday that the amount of pride Great Britain has taken in his victory at a tennis tournament is “actually pretty pathetic.” “I’m a professional tennis player who beat another professional tennis player, and people are seriously calling it one of the greatest moments in Britain’s history?” said Murray, adding that while he understands his victory means a lot to the United Kingdom, the British public needs to “get their priorities straight, and do it fast.” “I won a tennis tournament—a prestigious tennis tournament that’s very difficult to win, but a tennis tournament nonetheless—and millions across Scotland, England, and Wales are celebrating in the streets and waving Union Flags. Don’t you think that’s a little sad? I mean, Christ, it’s not like I cured fucking cancer. Or even won the World Cup, for that matter.” Murray then tossed the Wimbledon trophy to the assembled press corps, telling reporters they could “have the goddamn thing if they’re so fucking happy about it.”

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