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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Andy Reid Carted Onto Field To Shake Hands With Sean Payton

PHILADELPHIA—Unable to walk off the sideline under his own power, Eagles coach Andy Reid was loaded onto a medical cart and driven to the 50-yard line to shake hands with Saints coach Sean Payton after their game Sunday. According to those in attendance, a hush fell over the crowd during the 11 minutes the team's medical staff huddled around Reid, attempting to safely hoist the coach onto the cart with a crew of six grown men. "Coach Reid was conscious, but his breathing was labored and he complained of intense pain all over his body," team physician Dr. Peter DeLuca told reporters. "Once we got him onto the cart we had to stabilize his neck out of fear that it couldn't support his head. The good news is, we only had to use the defibrillator twice." After completing the handshake, Reid gave a thumbs-up to indicate that he wanted the straw in his milkshake to be raised up to his mouth.

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