adBlockCheck

Andy Reid Grumbles Something About Rebuilding Mode As Sandwich Falls Apart In Hands

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Television

Andy Reid Grumbles Something About Rebuilding Mode As Sandwich Falls Apart In Hands

BETHLEHEM, PA—During an hour-long lunch break at Eagles training camp Friday, Philadelphia head coach Andy Reid mumbled something about rebuilding mode as a homemade Italian sandwich slowly began falling apart in his hands. "Everything is in disarray right now, so it's important to set up a solid foundation and build from there," said Reid, muttering to himself while ham, capocollo, provolone, and mayonnaise slipped out of a kaiser roll and fell onto his lap. "Need to be patient while we get this thing back to the level we all want, because it'll take time. Have to plug up all the holes in the middle for sure, maybe with some roasted peppers or a few cuts of salami with ranch dressing. Still need to acquire several more key pieces of cheese." After struggling to reconstruct the sandwich for several minutes, a frustrated Reid told team sources he "may need to start over with a few fundamental components" and shoveled a wad of meat, bread, and cheese into his mouth.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close