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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Andy Reid Motivates Chiefs With Inspirational Speech About Great Burrito Place

KANSAS CITY, MO—Speaking with a fiery passion about a deep hunger and desire, Chiefs coach Andy Reid reportedly motivated players Monday with an inspiring speech about an incredible burrito place he recently discovered. “I can tell you right now, the burrito at Taqueria El Comal had all the ingredients of a world champion,” said Reid, his voice reportedly quivering as he described the effect of combining roasted chicken and carne asada to the players huddled around him. “And they don’t just take tortillas from a package and steam them because, men, there are no shortcuts to perfection. They’ve got the trays of dough balls that they flatten out and grill to order, and that right there is the difference between a good burrito and a great one.” Reid reportedly concluded the rousing 10-minute speech by requesting that any player who goes to Taqueria El Comal take his punch card, as he only needs three more purchases for a free steak taco.

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