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Angry A-Rod Man Pitches Perfect Game

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Angry A-Rod Man Pitches Perfect Game

OAKLAND—Twenty-six year old Oakland Athletics pitcher Angry A-Rod Man threw the 19th perfect game in Major League history Sunday, striking out six and retiring 27 out of 27 Tampa Bay Rays batters. The Angry A-Rod Man, known primarily for being angry at A-Rod (above), accomplished the feat in only 109 pitches, 77 of which were strikes. "I had good stuff today," said the Angry A-Rod Man, who joined his grandmother Angry A-Rod Grandmother after the game so they could be angry at A-Rod together. "It's just cool to know that everyone thinks of me as the man who threw a perfect game." When asked for comment, A-Rod wished the Angry A-Rod Man well.

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