Angry A-Rod Man Pitches Perfect Game

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Vol 46 Issue 19

Nuggets Tell Dying George Karl They Made NBA Finals

DENVER—During a visit to his coach's deathbed at Denver Presbyterian Hospital on Wednesday, Nuggets All-Star Carmelo Anthony told a barely conscious, cancer-ridden George Karl that their team, which was eliminated during the first round...

Dallas Braden

A few weeks after becoming embroiled in a mound-crossing feud with Alex Rodriguez, Braden pitched the 19th perfect game in MLB history. Is he any good?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

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Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Angry A-Rod Man Pitches Perfect Game

OAKLAND—Twenty-six year old Oakland Athletics pitcher Angry A-Rod Man threw the 19th perfect game in Major League history Sunday, striking out six and retiring 27 out of 27 Tampa Bay Rays batters. The Angry A-Rod Man, known primarily for being angry at A-Rod (above), accomplished the feat in only 109 pitches, 77 of which were strikes. "I had good stuff today," said the Angry A-Rod Man, who joined his grandmother Angry A-Rod Grandmother after the game so they could be angry at A-Rod together. "It's just cool to know that everyone thinks of me as the man who threw a perfect game." When asked for comment, A-Rod wished the Angry A-Rod Man well.

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