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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Announcing The Winners Of Our Super Bowl One Second Ad Contest

Thank you, Domers, for all of your submissions to OSN’s One Second Chance Super Bowl Contest. They were all terrific. Choosing a single video to represent the love you all have for OSN to be seen by billions of viewers worldwide during the Super Bowl was extremely difficult, and was only made more so by the outdated policies of the FCC and the Fox Network’s obstinacy.

The winning video, "monkeys bangin," received three times as many votes as the second place clip and we looked forward to seeing it during the Super Bowl.

When we sent the clip to the Fox Network, however, they refused to air it on the grounds that it fell short of their minimum time requirement for commercials. We then sent them an extended version (at great cost to us), essentially a 30-second loop of said monkeys, but were then informed by the FCC that 30 seconds of simulated monkey sex violated numerous broadcasting statutes and "commonly-held standards of decency."

Domers, given the choice between submitting a clip that you did not select as your favorite and boycotting the farce that is Super Bowl advertising to prove a point, we chose the latter. We hope that you understand our decision. We would, however, like to point out some of our personal favorite and most popular submissions.

Make sure to watch tonight's SportsDome. We've got all the deets on the Super Bowl plus breaking news about Shaq's trade to the Mavericks in order to be broken down and used for parts. 

Honorable Mention #1: ScreenTeamShow submitted Chad Proposes To OSN

Honorable Mention #2: BlackNerdComedy submitted BALLS

Honorable Mention #3: armenchizzel submitted LASER SQUIRREL

Honorable Mention #4: dagostino713 submitted Bear Tackle

Honorable Mention #5: videokeif submitted It's Good!

Honorable Mention #6: leeraymac71 submitted Move

Although your ads did not air during the Super Bowl, they are being mentioned in a blog post about the Super Bowl, which is pretty close.

In the meantime, keep it glued to the Dome. We’ve got plenty more contests coming up, including our “Submit an Idea For An OSN Contest Contest,” in which you the fans come up with the idea for a contest.

Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered. You are all Domers.

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