adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News

Announcing The Winners Of Our Super Bowl One Second Ad Contest

Thank you, Domers, for all of your submissions to OSN’s One Second Chance Super Bowl Contest. They were all terrific. Choosing a single video to represent the love you all have for OSN to be seen by billions of viewers worldwide during the Super Bowl was extremely difficult, and was only made more so by the outdated policies of the FCC and the Fox Network’s obstinacy.

The winning video, "monkeys bangin," received three times as many votes as the second place clip and we looked forward to seeing it during the Super Bowl.

When we sent the clip to the Fox Network, however, they refused to air it on the grounds that it fell short of their minimum time requirement for commercials. We then sent them an extended version (at great cost to us), essentially a 30-second loop of said monkeys, but were then informed by the FCC that 30 seconds of simulated monkey sex violated numerous broadcasting statutes and "commonly-held standards of decency."

Domers, given the choice between submitting a clip that you did not select as your favorite and boycotting the farce that is Super Bowl advertising to prove a point, we chose the latter. We hope that you understand our decision. We would, however, like to point out some of our personal favorite and most popular submissions.

Make sure to watch tonight's SportsDome. We've got all the deets on the Super Bowl plus breaking news about Shaq's trade to the Mavericks in order to be broken down and used for parts. 

Honorable Mention #1: ScreenTeamShow submitted Chad Proposes To OSN

Honorable Mention #2: BlackNerdComedy submitted BALLS

Honorable Mention #3: armenchizzel submitted LASER SQUIRREL

Honorable Mention #4: dagostino713 submitted Bear Tackle

Honorable Mention #5: videokeif submitted It's Good!

Honorable Mention #6: leeraymac71 submitted Move

Although your ads did not air during the Super Bowl, they are being mentioned in a blog post about the Super Bowl, which is pretty close.

In the meantime, keep it glued to the Dome. We’ve got plenty more contests coming up, including our “Submit an Idea For An OSN Contest Contest,” in which you the fans come up with the idea for a contest.

Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered. You are all Domers.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close