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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Annoying Friend Always Flabbergasted By Over-Under

MIDDLE RIVER, MD—According to his irritated friends, local man Mike Dreyer is inexplicably shocked and angered whenever he hears the over-under oddsmakers have set for any sporting event whatsoever. "It's like he takes it personally or something," said Dreyer's friend Matt Brands, who makes a point of putting away the local sports page before Dreyer comes over so he can't consult it. "Nobody cares if Mike thinks the Texans' performance on artificial turf warrants something more like an over-under of 42 than 45. He's never made a bet in his life anyway." At press time, Dreyer was not asked to comment about the Super Bowl spread.

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