adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

Annoying Friend Always Flabbergasted By Over-Under

MIDDLE RIVER, MD—According to his irritated friends, local man Mike Dreyer is inexplicably shocked and angered whenever he hears the over-under oddsmakers have set for any sporting event whatsoever. "It's like he takes it personally or something," said Dreyer's friend Matt Brands, who makes a point of putting away the local sports page before Dreyer comes over so he can't consult it. "Nobody cares if Mike thinks the Texans' performance on artificial turf warrants something more like an over-under of 42 than 45. He's never made a bet in his life anyway." At press time, Dreyer was not asked to comment about the Super Bowl spread.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close