Annual 6-Sentence Conversation With Cousin Goes Smoothly

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Vol 49 Issue 30

Tall Women At Higher Risk For Cancer

According to a new study, tall postmenopausal women are more likely to develop cancer than shorter women, with researchers finding that every 4-inch increase in height correlated to a 13 percent higher risk of a variety of cancers.

Lincoln Memorial Vandalized With Green Paint

Police closed the Lincoln Memorial early today after discovering that vandals had splattered green paint along the base of the iconic statue of 16th president Abraham Lincoln, as well as on the monument’s marble floor.
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Annual 6-Sentence Conversation With Cousin Goes Smoothly

PEORIA, IL—In keeping with the pair’s time-honored yearly tradition, local resident Bruce Malden reportedly made it through a “smooth and uneventful” six-sentence exchange with cousin Jeanelle Fowler at his family’s annual reunion last weekend. “Hey, how have you been?” Malden said to his cousin, who according to sources answered without hesitation that she had, in fact, been doing fine. “Doing pretty good myself. Can’t complain, anyway. You still liking it out there in Seattle?” Reports later confirmed that the fifth and sixth sentences spoken by Malden consisted of the single-word responses “Good” and “Uh-huh,” respectively.

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