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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Another Bunch Of Southerners Dead

THE SOUTH—Yet another deadly tornado, hurricane, flash flood or some other weather disaster ripped through the Southeast Monday, leaving yet another bunch of Southerners dead in its wake. The disaster—which overturned yet another 2,700 mobile homes, submerged yet another 1,500 cars, and left yet another 55,000 people without electricity and water—is said to be the worst in Texas, Florida, Tennessee or some other place down South since last Friday.

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