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Another Friends Star To Appear In Another Big-Screen Bomb

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Another Friends Star To Appear In Another Big-Screen Bomb

LOS ANGELES—On Monday, actor David Schwimmer began filming for Can't Help Myself, a Buena Vista Pictures romantic comedy that promises to be yet another big-screen bomb starring a Friends cast member. Slated for December release, Can't Help Myself will join such previous Friends-star-driven bombs as Picture Perfect, Ed, Fools Rush In, The Pallbearer, Kissing A Fool, 'Til There Was You, Romy And Michele's High School Reunion, and She's The One, as well as such soon-to-be-released bombs as Jennifer Aniston's Object Of My Affection and Courteney Cox's Alien Love Triangle.

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