adBlockCheck

Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Anthony Weiner Sends Apology Sext To Entire Clinton Campaign

BROOKLYN, NY—In response to the FBI’s announcement that its investigation of him had produced new evidence that could pertain to its probe of the Democratic presidential nominee, Anthony Weiner reportedly sent an apology sext early Monday morning to the entire Hillary Clinton campaign. “Just wanted u 2 know I am so so sorry for the mess I caused everybody,” read the first of several group text messages that Weiner sent to over two dozen top campaign staffers between the hours of 1 a.m. and 2 a.m., a series that reportedly also included a grainy close-up photograph of the former congressman’s right nipple, several images of his erect penis protruding from his boxer briefs, and a fully nude selfie taken in front of a bathroom mirror on which he had written the phrase “I’m a bad boy” in lipstick. “U know I’d do just about anything to patch things up. I just hope nobody over there wants to give me a spanking! So hard right now.” At press time, sources confirmed that Weiner was speaking to the angry father of the 13-year-old girl whose number is reportedly one digit off from that of Clinton campaign manager John Podesta.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close