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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Apartment Returns To Pre-Houseguest Level Of Tension

COLUMBUS, OH—With the Sunday afternoon departure of friends visiting from Chicago for the weekend, the apartment of Gary and Felicia Mylan ceased being a warm, open household and returned to its normal atmosphere of icy resentment. "They're gone," said Felicia Mylan, dropping the relaxed demeanor she had affected for three days and clenching her teeth as her husband opened his laptop to read e-mail and shut off any possibility of conversation. "I'm going to lie down for a bit." The weekend marked the lowest level of tension in the home since February, when the couple shared a chuckle over news of an acquaintance's three-month-old marriage ending in divorce.

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