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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Apartment Set Up To Create Illusion Of Well-Rounded Life

RIVERSIDE, CA—Hoping to trick visitors into thinking he leads a well-rounded life filled with diverse interests, local resident Andrew Higgins has outfitted his apartment with such accoutrements as a framed La Dolce Vita poster, an acoustic guitar, and a magazine rack filled with back issues of The New Yorker. "I'm clearly into some pretty cool stuff," said Higgins, 26, who devotes 95 percent of his evenings to playing his Nintendo GameCube or patronizing a local topless bar. "This apartment is indistinguishable from that of a true Renaissance man."

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