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Politics

Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known as @RWthinks by his legions of passionate fans, makes roughly $28,000 per year.

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office

COLUMBUS, OH—Based on his recent activity on Facebook, local man Arthur Gibson, 29, is reportedly under the impression that libertarian icon and former presidential candidate Ron Paul is still running for a major federal office of some kind, sources confirmed Tuesday. “In times such as these, we require an experienced leader who is willing to stand behind the courage of his convictions and do what is right for America, and that man is Ron Paul,” Gibson wrote in just his latest post on the social networking site, seemingly unaware that the 77-year-old political theorist and former congressman is neither running for president nor in a position wherein he can directly affect public policy in any way. “[President Barack] Obama has had his chance, and yet he has consistently failed us at every turn. Well, no more. It’s time for us to take back our country.” Gibson’s Facebook friends later confirmed that the staunch libertarian has held unfounded delusions about Paul’s ability to play a role in the political process since as far back as 2008.

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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

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