Appearance Of Dennis Rodman Most Normal Thing To Happen In North Korea

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Vol 49 Issue 10

Iowa Fashion Week Begins

DES MOINES, IA—The greater Des Moines area was abuzz with excitement Monday as Iowa’s annual Fashion Week officially kicked off, opening a busy seven days of runway shows and clothing exhibitions showcasing Iowa’s hottest new styles from...

Albany Bucket Museum

Learn about the history of buckets with a self-guided tour through the museum's four fascinating exhibits, then sit down and watch the hourly documentary about buckets and their role in winning America's independence.

God Worried He Fucked Up His Children

THE HEAVENS—Saying that maybe He wasn’t around enough and could have expressed His divine love a little better throughout the history of mankind, Our Lord God and Almighty Father expressed concern Thursday that He might have fucked up His chil...

Justin Bieber Hospitalized After Fainting At Concert

Teen pop sensation Justin Bieber was seen struggling during a performance of “Beauty and a Beat” at a show in London last night before walking off stage and fainting out of view of the audience, and was later taken to a hospital.
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Appearance Of Dennis Rodman Most Normal Thing To Happen In North Korea

PYONGYANG—The recent appearance of former Chicago Bulls forward Dennis Rodman in North Korea was reportedly the most normal thing to transpire in the country in recent memory, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Our Supreme Leader [Kim Jong-un] was pleased to share in the company of Mr. Rodman as the two enjoyed time together conversing, dining, and watching basketball, which honestly was just about the most ordinary thing I’ve ever seen around here,” an anonymous source within the North Korean government said of the flamboyant NBA star’s relatively conventional diplomatic visit, which reportedly featured little of the group chanting, elaborate costumery, and synchronized acrobatics that define everyday life in the East Asian nation. “Really, this was just a run-of-the-mill episode in which the leader of North Korea spent a couple of days with a 6’7” tattooed Hall of Famer known as ‘The Worm.’ And I guess a few of the Harlem Globetrotters were here at one point. Pretty standard stuff, all things considered.” At press time, North Korean authorities had reportedly taken the unidentified government contact into custody for communicating with Western media, thereby signaling a return to the nation’s customary routine.

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