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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Apple Announces Plans For New iPad With Extra Storage Drawer

CUPERTINO, CA—In what tech giant Apple is calling a “major leap forward” for one of its most beloved products, the company announced Tuesday it would begin selling a new version of its popular iPad tablet with an extra attached storage drawer. “Featuring a stunning 9.7-inch Retina display, super-fast wireless performance, and a 5-inch-deep pull-out drawer, the iPad 4D is our most high-performance model to date,” Apple CEO Tim Cook said in a press release, adding that the sleek new drawer has a stainless-steel handle and comes in either white or black. “With slick ball-bearing slides and an ultra-light frame, the 4D can easily carry photographs, pens, calculators, legal pads, iPhones, and other personal belongings. Life just got a whole lot better, iPad users.” At press time, retail prices of the iPad 4D had dropped considerably on rumors that the company planned to release a mid-priced 4-inch-deep model as early as September.

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