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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Apple Fans Demand Other Products They Can Feel Directly Against Skin At All Times

SAN FRANCISCO—Following Monday’s unveiling of the highly anticipated Apple Watch, fans of Apple across the nation reportedly called on the company to manufacture more products that they can feel pressed against their skin at all times. “The watch is a good start, but I need as many devices as possible to be directly in contact with my flesh, like lightweight tablets I can strap to my legs or some kind of Apple chestplate I can wear under my shirt,” said 28-year-old Robert Klinman, echoing the sentiments of millions of Americans who said that any portion of their skin not in contact with an Apple product felt raw and exposed. “Maybe some kind of flexible Apple scarf, or even a full-body LCD sheet I could wrap my body in over and over, and that I’d never have to take off to sync up to my laptop. I mean, can you imagine anything more comforting than the warmth of your Apple pajamas as they gently charge through the night?” At press time, Apple consumers confirmed they would do their best with existing technology by wearing an Apple Watch and simply leaning their cheek against an iPad when they got lonely.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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