adBlockCheck

Recent News

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
End Of Section
  • More News

Applebee's Introduces New 50 Appetizers For $250 Special

DECATUR, GA—Announcing a special offer aimed at “whetting appetites like never before,” the Applebee’s restaurant chain said Wednesday that for a limited time customers will be able to purchase 50 appetizers at the discounted price of $250. “Try 12 servings of our tempting Boneless Wings, followed by 20 plates of Chicken Quesadillas Grande, and polish it off with 18 baskets of our Crunchy Onion Rings—all for just $250 plus tax and tip,” Applebee’s representative Gavin Feig said in a press release, noting that the special allows customers to pay substantially less than they would if they were to buy 50 appetizers individually. “Best of all, the deal is valid with the purchase of any entrée on our menu, including our longest-running favorite, the 25-Steak Dinner Deal.” Feig added that the offer does not apply to orders of Chili Cheese Nachos, saying, “It’s just the rule.”

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close