adBlockCheck

Recent News

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
End Of Section
  • More News

Applebee's To Offer Divorced-Father-And-Child Specials Every Other Weekend

KANSAS CITY, MO—Applebee’s announced Friday that all 2,000 of its locations will soon offer a menu of every-other-weekend specials created especially for divorced fathers and their children. “These delicious meal options are perfect when you’re coming back with your kid from a movie or minor-league baseball game, or just feel like the two of you need to get out of your apartment for a little while,” Applebee’s president Mike Archer said of the new specials, which follow last year’s successful introduction of the restaurant’s Broken-Home-Style Burger deals for parents who have recently told their children they’re getting divorced. “Whether you’d like a quesadilla appetizer that sets just the right mood for asking questions about the past two weeks of school, or want to discuss your ex-wife’s current boyfriend over our famous Brownie Bite dessert, we’ve got something for every father and the child he sees twice a month.” Archer added that for a limited time, the specials will also include a coupon redeemable for a well drink after the father has dropped the kid off Sunday night and returned to sit at the bar alone.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close