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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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April Comes To A Close

WASHINGTON, DC—Experts at the Naval Observatory report that April, as it has every year at this time since records were kept, is progressing to an end. "We have had 26 perfectly acceptable diurnal periods, or 'days,' of April thus far," said NOAA meteorologist Carl Whittaker. "And we anticipate exactly four more before the immediate beginning of May. Please adjust all analog and digital temporal recording devices appropriately." Whittaker also noted that, for laymen, May would progress in much the same fashion as April, excepting the addition of a 31st day which is traditionally appended at the month's conclusion.

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