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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Arab-American Actually Kind Of Enjoys Always Having 2 Bus Seats To Self

CHICAGO—While stressing that racial profiling is degrading and has made his life more difficult in a great many ways, 29-year-old Egyptian-American Tarek Yasin admitted to reporters Monday that he does sort of enjoy always having two seats to himself when he rides the bus. “Sure, it’s insulting when people take one look at me and then walk to the other end of the bus, but after a long day of work, it is kind of nice to be able to stretch out a little bit,” said Yasin, adding that since the Boston Marathon bombings on Apr. 15, he hasn’t once had to sit next to someone else during his daily commute. “Even when the bus is full, just the sight of me standing in the aisle is enough to make people get up and move, so I always wind up with a seat. Ignorance, fear, racism—these are horrible things, but at least I get to sit down and take a load off.” Yasin, who has been an American citizen for over a decade, added that he also gets the locker room at his health club to himself “just by showing up and setting down [his] gym bag.”

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