Archaeologists: Egyptian Pyramids Actually Early Attempt At Camping

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Vol 46 Issue 23

Rookie Strasburg Begins Hazing Nationals Veterans

WASHINGTON—Though Nationals rookie Stephen Strasburg has only played in two major league games, the right-handed phenom has asserted his dominance in the clubhouse by hazing his veteran teammates, eyebrow-lacking sources confirmed Thursday.

Nike, Adidas Favorites In World Cup Final

JOHANNESBURG—As the first round of World Cup matches conclude, analysts have said that despite several dramatic and valiant displays from underdogs, traditional soccer juggernauts Nike and Adidas are still the favorites to reach the World Cup final.

Somali Pirates Make Off With Moses Mabhida Stadium

DURBAN, SOUTH AFRICA—Several World Cup matches will be rescheduled following the Friday afternoon theft of Moses Mabhida Stadium by Somali pirates, who used chains attached to a makeshift flotilla of armed skiffs to tow the arena through Durban Bay ...

Seashells Transform Suburban Bathroom Into Tropical Hideaway

WOODMERE, OH—"It's like a little island getaway right in my very own home," said Dale Watson, surrounded now by towering palm trees and beautiful white sand beaches where once only a shower mat and curtain had existed. "This is the way life is meant to be. I feel like I should be eating grilled mahimahi right now."

Big Cats Lured By Obsession

In studying the amount of time two cheetahs interacted with different colognes, the general curator of the Bronx Zoo found that the cats showed a preference for Calvin Klein's Obsession for Men.

Landon Donovan

Donovan is the heart, soul, brains, and pretty much the whole right flank of the U.S. World Cup team. Is he any good?

2010 World Cup Teams To Watch

While Brazil and Argentina seem to grab all the attention, the field is as interesting as it is deep. Onion Sports points out the keys for each national side.
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Archaeologists: Egyptian Pyramids Actually Early Attempt At Camping

CAIRO—Once shrouded in mystery, the pyramids of Giza are now believed to be the earliest known attempt at camping out, a team of archeologists reported Monday. "It appears that around 400 BC, the pharaohs of Egypt began packing up all of their earthly possessions for some recreational camping on the banks of the Nile," said Dr. Tarek Hilal of Alexandria University, noting that the pyramids' dense outer walls and sharply angled faces would have been perfect for keeping rain out. "Furthermore, it seems that the extensive hieroglyphics showing spirits embarking on a journey to the afterlife was their way of telling spooky ghost stories." Despite the remarkable discovery, Hilal and his team are still unsure why so many ancient Egyptians decided to remove their inner organs before getting inside their stone sleeping bags at night.

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