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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Area Cat Allergic To Kevin Strenlow Dander

PROVO, UT–Area housecat Tibbles, 3, has an intolerance to the dander of owner Kevin Strenlow, sources reported Monday. "Tibbles can't get too close to Kevin or he'll start sneezing terribly," said Deborah Brandt, Tibbles' personal veterinarian. "Those flakes of dead skin that fall off Kevin really bother him." Brandt recommended that Tibbles buy a special human shampoo that should alleviate the problem if massaged into Strenlow's scalp while he is held down.

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