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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Area Child Can't Bring Self To Look Up To Eli Manning

HAZLET, NJ—Twelve-year-old Giants fan Jesse Kenney revealed today that, try though he might, he simply can't muster up the necessary respect to idolize Giants QB and Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning. "I mean, he's great and everything.... Well, not great, but definitely pretty good," said the lifelong Giants fan, sporting his favorite Justin Tuck jersey for the interview. "I mean, he's a starting quarterback, and Kerry [Collins] and Kurt [Warner] were definitely my favorite players when they were around. It's just.... He's Eli, you know? He kinda reminds me of my baby brother Nicky. Nicky was just born in March, right after the Super Bowl. I like to put his little Giants hat on when I take care of him." When informed of Kenney's difficulties, Manning furrowed his brow, pouted, and began to cry.

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