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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Area Dad Hopes Son's Interest In Long Jumping Just A Phase

BALTIMORE—David Segal, 38-year-old accountant and father of two, expressed hope that his 10-year-old son's recent interest in long jumping has been spurred only by the 2008 Olympic Games and will fade out as soon as the NFL season, NBA season, and MLB post-season begin. "He can't be serious," a distraught Segal said last Friday when his son rejected his offer to play a game of catch in favor of watching Olympic track-and-field events for the second time this week. "I don't get it. You can run and jump in baseball, football, and basketball, too. But at least those sports are, you know, sports." Sources close to Segal say he later forcibly prevented his son from watching the Olympics as soon as the floor exercise of the men's artistic gymnastics came on.

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