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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Area Dad Points Out Place That Has Great Reuben Sandwiches

'You Like Reubens, Right?' Father Inquires

AGOURA HILLS, CA—Noting that they really hit the spot, local dad Peter Barry pointed out a restaurant that serves really good Reuben sandwiches during a drive with his son Ryan on Saturday. "You like those, right? Reubens?" Barry asked the 18-year-old, who vaguely nodded his head while staring out the window. "I love me a good Reuben." Sources reported that after driving in silence for the next five minutes, the father went on to add, "Nothing better than a Reuben."

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